The other day I got into a social media tiff-whizzer with a good friend of mine. A tiff-whizzer is when an argument could be construed by outside parties as slightly more than a tiff, but really just whizzes by both inside parties and is quickly forgotten. I’ll reverse his name to keep his identity secure, so don’t try to figure out who I’m talking about. So Ffej has been a long-time supporter of this blog and even had encouraged me to start it in the first place. He was catching up my last few blogs that he had inexplicably missed and came back at me with the following tepid comment on my last effort:

“Nice. Not great, but nice.”

Then his comment on the one before that was:

“It was good, but didn’t hit a cord with me.  I feel you’ve written better stuff.”

So that is what kicked off the tiff-whizzer. How can Ffej who is obviously NOT as socially media aware as I (what with me doingfb a blog and all), be able to critique my blatherings? I mean – I have Twitter! Facebook! Instagram! It’s time to judge. Is Ffej or Tim the self-appointed “King of Social Media”?

Facebook   

Tim Friends         171
Ffej Friends        319

OK – a poor first showing for this potential King of Social Media. But I have my very own “Flying Here In The Middle…” Facebook page! Since I have a WHOPPING 58 likes on that page, and each one of those is worth 2 “Likes” on a normal page – that’s 116. Take 116 and 171 normal friends and you get…well….287. So it’s a virtual tie seeing how the survey is +/- 50. So Facebook is a wash.

Facebook Result - Tie

Instagrainstagramm

Tim Followers    9
Ffej Followers   0

Ffej doesn’t have an Instagram account as far as I know. Honestly – I don’t know why I do either except for me being THE KING OF ALL SOCIAL MEDIA. I’ve never posted a picture. But people are blindly following me waiting for that day. I am ready and I am close to pouncing on this platform. Therefore –

Instagram Result – Tim

Twitter

Tim Followers    23
Ffej Followers   34

A slight edge to Ffej – but let’s look at the quality of followers. Good ole Ffej has at LEAST 9 of those ‘Follow ME, Follow YOU’ accounts such as “Liyah is Alone” and “Haydee is CruNK!” so we’ll again mark this as draw. As far as the quality of followers, I have not only Phillip Sheppard – SURVIVOR! Finalist,  but I also have (for some reason) the Commander of the U.S. Pacific Submarine Fleet!!!! I mean – BOOM! Cliff Avril – twitterthen Defensive Lineman for the Detroit Lions – followed me for a period of 3 glorious days before discovering his mistake.

How about another Twitter contest of who has gotten the most ‘important’ likes, retweets, and favorites from important people? And by the way, we then entered into a completely pointless discussion of what a ‘favorite’ meant – did the semi-celebrity actually READ it or did they just blindly dink a button? I asked Ffej for the most prestigious semi-celebrities that he has heard back from in some way to his tweets. His replies:

Jeff Passan (Yahoo! Sports Reporter)
Bram Weinstein (ESPN Analyst)
Random Poker Player that favorite one of his tweets to someone else
Byron Kerr (Washington Nationals back up BACK UP play by play)
Adam Kilgore (Nationals Reporter – Washington Post)
Dan Steinberg (Nationals Reporter – Washington Post)

I’ve had but three semi-celebrities reply in any way to me besides those that followed me. The three replies that I’ve had:

Emily Talley – Professional Golfer and winner of Big Break! on the Golf Channel (little boom….)
Drew Ryniewicz – Amazing singer and 4th or 5th place on the US X-Factor Season 1 (medium boom…)

And drum roll please…..

Jenna Fischer – Actress most known for her role as Pam on “The Office” (BIG BOOM!)

And when Ffej heard about Jenna Fischer basically inviting me to her house in Los Angeles, having dinner by the pool, and then co-starring in her next movie with her by favoriting one of my tweets, he said (basically conceded the whole shooting match):

“Basically, it’s all the same stuff, barely “famous” people.  All combined would not hold a candle to Jenna Fischer.”

TwitterResult – Tim

jenna

So the final result is that obviously I’m the King of Social Media between the two of us. It’s clear that with the combination of internet skillage that I possess and the powerful reach of the long arm of the social media body that I am well-equipped to be heading into the second half of 2014. Jenna Fischer is my golden chariot home.

As a final side note both Ffej and I, in hopes of boosting our totals above, sent random messages to celebrities asking for a retweet because we were in a contest. The results of that battle royale:

Tim Success –    0
Ffej Success –     0

Like I said, this was ‘King’ in our own minds. And that’s really all that matters.