As I’ve said many times before, and I think most of you will agree – I’m much funnier in my own mind than I am outside of my own mind. This can be demonstrated on a daily basis by the absolutely hilarious thoughts that go on inside my head while my mouth tends to blurble out unintelligible blurblings of an indistinct nature.
This phenomenon of self-humoring – which I’ll dub HIDE (Humor Internally Dies Effect) – has been noted by me on a daily occurrence for nearly every one of my days living on this planet. Even if I do manage to spit out the internal humor that I’m sheltering inside of my cranium in an understandable manner, it invariable falls upon looks of scorn and contempt by friends, co-workers and even family. I know the jokes are funny. So it must be something on the recipient’s end. I can’t even begin to count the number of disgusted looks that have been heaped upon me by my very own children when these pearls of humor are delivered to the outside world.
A prime example occurs regularly on days that it drizzles. I made up a joke about 20 years ago and every time a foggy, drizzly day occurs I use it both inwardly and (much less frequently now) outwardly. I’ve probably graced the world with this one-liner 5 times in the past 20 years and every single time there has been absolutely zero reaction. The first time I ran the one-liner out of the HIDE archives garage, down the humor driveway, and turned on to the busy road that IS the public I actually repeated it twice, since obviously the person I was with didn’t hear me the first time. Two times = two complete blank stares.
The thing is – there is NO way that this one-liner isn’t funny. My internal humor clock is ticking strongly and proudly, and I KNOW funny.
So here’s the set-up. You walk out the door with someone, anyone and are met in the face by that fine, drizzling rain that I love so much. It immediately causes you to hunch your shoulders up against the cold, wet sky while you start scurrying to your intended shelter. You can’t SEE the drizzle because it’s so fine. You’re all hunched over as the light mist touches your face with a glancing brush of its long-reaching tendrils. Just at the perfect time, between scuffling footsteps and passing traffic, you utter the words:
Right? RIGHT? Hilarity should ensue!
When I was growing up my mom used to have this fern that we had to ‘mist’ every day. We had to take a spray bottle and drench every single one of the tiny leaves to fool the stupid plant into thinking that it was still in a tropical rain forest. So the very nature of the mist that we experience regularly makes me think of this event in my upbringing. It’s comedy gold I tell you….and if you didn’t laugh at it then I’m sure it’s NOT that it isn’t funny – more likely it’s that you just don’t feel like being a plant.
And I bet every single one of you will use this line the next time you walk out in the mist. The HIDE effect does that to you. It’s an internal mechanism that ensures good, proper humor is kept in a warm safe place for the next time you use it.
But…. And a big but… don’t be surprised if the people that you blurble this out in front of don’t find it funny. They obviously just aren’t as in tune with their humor as we cultured folks are.