I work in the little global village of the universe that is considered to be ‘IT’. For those of you are not familiar with the term, ‘IT’ stands for the Information Technology field which supposedly is composed of brilliant thinkers and innovative ideas. For those of you ARE familiar with the term ‘IT’ you’ll know that it actually stands for Imaginary Trickery. All of us in the IT field are just flying by with our fingers pressed into the keyboard hoping against hope that no one will actually figure out that all we are doing is copying the guy who came before us and making a few changes and improvements to make it our own. You can scoff at that if you will – but you know the truth.
While I’m sure there are some brilliant people in IT, there are also some people that literally don’t have a clue about how to tie their Velcro shoe laces. The good news about that is it guarantees that there is always something to blog about. While not necessarily wrong, the below examples are just a few examples of how ‘we brilliant IT’ people don’t think about much except for where their next Diet Coke or Moon Pie is coming from.
I get random emails all the time and approximately every 2 years I get a bug up my butt and attempt to unsubscribe from them. So here’s a result of my unsubscribing action from Sports Authority:
Who would ever check that option?? You’ve gone to all of the trouble to even FIND the unsubscribe link in the email (which is normally an adventure), you’ve clicked it and you are asked to check a box to see if you were wrong in the first place? How about just closing the window? I would LOVE to know how many people have second thoughts, and then actually hit that option and press ‘SUBMIT’. And what does Sports Authority do with those people? My bet is that they automatically check a box on that person saying “Hopelessly still looking for a clue – flood them with emails”
“Press the ‘Update Now’ button to begin the Update automatically.”
In my mind, it’s not automatic if you have to press the update button in the first place, right? And why is Update capitalized? The whole thing is a menagerie of word issues and logic issues. It’s like the M.C. Escher of update messages. Congratulations Adobe for hiring a typical IT guy.
Back to the unsubscribing adventures. This company not only buries their unsubscribe link, but when you finally find it they present you with this screen:
The GOOD thing is that they just unsubscribe you. However, they then go on to craft a beautiful story about how this crazy ‘unsubscribe’ link could have been hit. Maybe you forwarded the email to a friend? They clicked unsubscribe? Holy crap – how could this have even happened??? ABORT! ABORT! You better SUBSCRIBE right now and rectify the mistake immediately. This particular example can’t happen that much to make them want to call it out, can it?
I’m sure there are a thousand other examples of IT stupid messages out there – feel free to share in the comments and it will make absolutely no difference to making it better. Because there will always be stupid IT people and stupid messages.
Which is fantastic news for a word-starved blogger.