Stooping to a New Low

Posted: January 15, 2015 in Tim Braun
Tags: , , ,

You know what it’s like to have a maid? No…. neither do I. Sure, we’ve dabbled in the past with the idea of a maid, and have even scheduled solitary ‘maiden’ sessions through Living Social and Groupon. However, we have not yet reached the level of society where a maid would be possible. During those few times and even extending into various hotel stays – one thing became quite maidapparent. I tend to clean before the maid comes.

In the case of hotels, I make the bed (roughly, of course, but there is definitely a straightening), I’ll throw away the trash, and make sure the room looks presentable. I may even wipe the bathroom sink if I think the maid will be especially disgusted by my leavings. All this in order to ‘please’ someone who is paid to clean up my crap.

Which brings me to my real point. We are going on a cruise tomorrow, which requires someone to come and take care of our two dogs and a cat. For this trip and several other previous trips, we have found a wonderful woman to come and live at our house for a week and take care of the pets. That’s all that she’s there for, not any type of maid duty or anything like that. So no reason to straighten the house, do the laundry or anything else.

But you know what I did yesterday in sub-freezing temperatures with a light snow falling magically to the ground?

I went into our back yard and picked up every piece of dog crap I could find. I cleaned the crap so that there could be a nice, clean place for the dogs to crap while we were gone. I wouldn’t want our pet sitter to think we were heathen, for heaven’s sake.  So apparently, I now not only clean up the house for a maid, I clean up the back yard for our pet sitter.

And there is absolutely nothing more humiliating and emasculating than picking up dog crap in the back yard, bending down innumerable times for the next pile, and having said dog stand by you and watch you do it. They HAVE to be thinking, “I have got this dude trained so well…I can take a crap ANYWHERE and he will just come behind me and clean it up.”   Stop smiling, Sparky.


Who is really in charge here??? I think we know the answer to that.

  1. writerinsoul says:

    Aww, I think you’re decent to clean up for the pet sitter! Maybe when you’re referring to her as a “wonderful woman,” she’s somewhere referring to you and your family as these “great people” she pet-sits for.

    And yes, the dogs are clearly in charge except for their inability to run can openers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Carrie Rubin says:

    Haha, I’d do the same. Well, I’d send my teen sons outside to clean up the crap, but same diff. Have a great cruise! We love going on cruises. Makes for a great family vacation. Everyone can do their own thing then meet up for dinner.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. When we moved onto our five acre property I thought, “Yay! The dogs can poop in the pasture! I will never have to pooh parade again.” Hah.

    Liked by 1 person

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