Key West In A Mouse Click

There is something seriously wrong with me. I’ve come to this conclusion by analyzing a combination of factors relating to my physical and mental well-being, ranging from an intense examination of my daily routines to a deep dive into my mental welfare, and ending with a far-reaching analysis of my intended goals, both daily and future. This in-depth look at my inner self was triggered by one thing and one thing only.

I’ve become addicted to a webcam.

To be fair, it’s not just an ordinary webcam. It’s not one of those “Refresh Every 30 Seconds” wanna-be webcams. No – this one is a full live motion camera running 24 hours a day. Through it I’m transported to another period in time (it runs about 15 minutes behind real time) and place (Key West, Florida) and provides a microcosm of people the likes of which can only be found in places like Key West, Florida.

This all started a couple of months ago when my family took a cruise and stopped for the day at one of my most-want-to-visit places – Key West. I’ve always wanted to go there and jumped at the chance to walk the beautiful streets and soak in the atmosphere. It was everything I expected it to be. Imagine my surprise when I got back home and stumbled across this webcam. From Google Maps, this is the street view of where the webcam is located, right outside the (apparently) famous Sloppy Joe’s Bar on Duval Street:

This bar is apparently very famous among the people who know these type of things, which I guess is the reason for the webcam being in that location. So I’m not ashamed (well, maybe a little bit) to admit that while working from home, I have a small window in the top left of my monster monitor dedicated to having the webcam on full time. It’s really not unlike my typical amusement park visit with my family – where I sit and watch the people walk by while they are off riding all of the rides I would never ride. Plus, no travel is involved and the people can’t see ME – two huge benefits of a good, quality stalker.

Here is the typical webcam view that I get from Sloppy Joe’s Bar:

Right? It’s got everything. Convertibles, drunken idiots, young couples, old people fighting (trust me on this one – the gentleman in the blue shirt standing by the road was definitely in a snit with the guy next to him pretending to not know him). But wait. It’s missing one thing still. Can’t quite put my finger on it…. OH WAIT! A PIRATE!

This guy comes out every other day or so and charges people to take a picture with him. He also has a dog in a baby carriage up next to the wall for some reason. He seems relatively friendly for a pirate, and even has a big hand with a feather on the end of it to reach out and touch people that are trying their darndest to ignore him. But even HE is still missing something. A pirate with a dog? No. WE NEED A PARROT!

THIS guy with the green parrot hair charges tourists to come around and stand with, well, a parrot on their shoulder. This lady in the yellow shirt stayed there about 5 minutes with no one else in her party taking pictures or anything. She apparently just had a need to stand there with a parrot on her shoulder. Bully for her, I say.

Honestly, by the end of the evening I’m worn out from watching all of the festivities. The non-stop tourists who stand looking at the webcam waiving at their friends in North Dakota – not realizing that there’s a 15-minute delay so that their Dakotan brethren think that they are just friggin’ idiots. By the way, if I had known there was a webcam there – I would have done the exact same thing.

Because of all the previous day’s festivities, it’s almost a relief to sign on in the morning and get this view:

Looks like both myself and Key West are just waking up, ready for a full day of pirates, parrots and beer.

The perfect day.