Fifth World Problems – Sector Charlie

Posted: September 23, 2015 in Tim Braun
Tags: , , , , ,

Sometimes I have a ton to say about a ton of things, but none of them require (nor deserve) a full blog in their honor. In that case, I gather these things in the back of my head like so many grains of sand on the beach until they can no longer be held by the sheer magnitude of my cranium. I’ve done two of these previously – Sector Bravo and Sector Alpha, so feel free to check these out for more random musings.

All that being said, below are 5 very salient thoughts for you to ponder as you work through your day. Whether or not you appreciate them is up to you – but know that my skull feels about 73% better for having purged them from the aforementioned sandy beach.

Without further ado, I give you my five (5) thoughts for September:

I recently had to escort someone to the bathroom. That’s awkward. Because we work in a secure facility, a non-employee has to be escorted throughout the halls and the situation recently arose that this person had to use the facilities. So I take them there and stand outside the door in the hallway and wait for them. And wait. Of course everyone that walked by I had to explain that I was waiting on someone to justify my lollygagging. Should I have asked the bathroom participant how long he would be so that I would know what to expect? Should there be a pre-qualifying question posed to the participant about #1 vs. #2? Regardless, I spent 10 minutes of my life there waiting for this kind gentleman. The only thing worse is BEING the kind gentleman knowing that someone is waiting for you. You had better believe that the first couple of sentences coming out of the bathroom may be the most awkward sentences ever.

Occasionally I will stop by Panera on my way to work and my daughter always asks me to bring her somethmuffieing back. If it was a croissant, cool. A bagel? Fantastic. No… what she wants is something called a ‘pumpkin muffie’. So as a man, I have to walk up to the counter and ask for a pumpkin muffie. What the hell is a muffie? My lovely daughter even said told me not to call it that – just ask for a pumpkin muffin top. I told her that really wasn’t much better.


Today when I was getting ready for work, I ran out of the following in order:

  • Shampoo
  • Deodorant
  • Shaving Cream
  • Toothpaste

What are the odds of getting to the last gasp of these four products on the same day?

THOUGHT 4pentatonix
Pentatonix. For those of you who luckily don’t know this relatively new music sensation – I’ve come up with a musical recipe to give you a sample of their music. Take 1 teaspoon of ‘Glee’ horrible schmaltzy music and add a pinch of an ‘adult’ Kids Bop CD. Boom. Pentatonix. It’s horrible stuff.

Let’s take a look at our stairs here at the office.


Not only have they put a racing stripe down the middle of the stairs now for easy traffic management, but they have put a big red sign saying “Keep Right”. Was the traffic situation so out of hand here that they felt the need to step in for crowd control? You can tell by this picture that obviously the stairwell is practically like walking into Disney World with the crowds.

Thanks for allowing me this brain dump. I feel so much better now.

  1. I always worry when I see these work-related ideas. I realize how much my institution is slacking. We have NO warning signs, let alone a neon line to help guide us on the stairs. I swear if this comes up for discussion at our next safety meeting- I am holding you responsible for putting the idea out there.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. writerinsoul says:

    I bet those *helpful* stairwell guides are there for emergencies. You know, when people run, panic, push, and trample one another. When no one is going to pay attention to *helpful* signage.


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