You’re going to finish reading this blog and think to yourself “Well, I didn’t really learn anything in THAT five minutes…” That will put the below firmly into the same category as every mini-goat video you watch today, or any story about Donald Trump being a complete buffoon that you may read in the future. For that, I feel like I’ve contributed to the great dumbing-down of America and as I lay my head down on my pillow this fine evening I’ll rest with my conscience at ease.
It’s as simple as this. Any time someone asks me for a ‘hard copy’ or ‘soft copy’ of something I have to physically engage my brain (oiling all the appropriate gears and sprockets first, of course) and have it slowly chug into motion to determine what it is exactly that they are talking about. There is plenty of smoke, a few sparks, and then KA-CHING! The answer slowly oozes out of my brain into the more high-performing portions of my body.
For those of you who are fortunate enough to not know what I’m talking about, the use of ‘hard copy’ and ‘soft copy’ are one of those newfangled business-like terms that refer to a piece of paper (accepted business term = hard copy) or an electronic file (accepted business term = soft copy). Even typing the previous sentence I literally had to sit and think about which copy is which. Why? Because the logic that Mr. Adam Paradigmshift used to create these terms makes absolutely no sense to me.
When I’m handing someone a piece of paper, how does the paper feel?
When I’m pulling up a file on a computer, and I touch the computer screen, how does the screen feel?
So in what world is a piece of paper called a ‘soft copy’??? If I rub a piece of paper on your face, it’s a SOFT COPY. If I throw a computer monitor at your head, it’s obvious to you and your brain surgeon that it was a HARD COPY. Yet somehow just the opposite method of thinking makes sense in the business world, where nothing makes ACTUAL sense and people say things to make them feel more important. I know that some of you reading this will think I’m completely wrong – and you know what? YOU are the problem.
By the way, I also have this same brain-freezing grinding of gears occur when someone asks me to go to the left or right. I have to sit at the virtual piano bench of a virtual Mrs. Wente as a 6-year old budding Beethoven – turning in the correct direction that her virtual house was virtually facing, and look down at my left hand. I then extrapolate that left hand to the actual situation and therefore turn left correctly at least 85% of the time. Don’t scoff – I can navigate the crap out of a left turn now.
Anyway, that’s how my brain is working. Please share this soft copy of my hard copy with all of your friends.