Fried. Frozen. Breaded. Veal. Patties.

Posted: July 21, 2016 in Tim Braun
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Growing up in a quiet house in Fort Wayne, Indiana in the 70’s I was blessed to be ‘presented’ with all sorts of Midwestern comfort foods. The pickled herring, the potted meat, the tuna casserole… all served as if they were completely normal things to eat. Little did I know that outside of my protected house-bubble people all over the world were eating REAL food and enjoying the opportunity to partake of the bevy of nature unfettered by the laws of the processed food kingdom.

I’m not saying that my parents didn’t feed me well – it’s just what we had to eat. My mother came up with some brilliant combinations like honey and butter sandwiches, honey and peanut butter sandwiches, and White Karo Syrup and butter sandwiches. The proverbial Nectar of the Gods obviously. If you’ve never had the pleasure of biting into a syrup/butter sandwich and feeling the sweetness roll down your chin – you basically have never lived. Trust me right this second and go try it.

One of the most striking things I remember (and interestingly enough my father today does NOT remember it at all) is being served the frozen fried breaded veal patty. That is probably five words that never should go together in a food product. However, I see that it is STILL a product that you can apparently purchase in some of our finest grocery emporiums:

Capture

The beautiful and modern packaging obviously is yelling “Eat Me!” There are a couple of warning flags however.

  • You know how foods attack you when they consider themselves a great source of protein? No such arrogance with these suckers – here it’s only just a ‘good’ source of protein. At least they are being honest.
  • I have never seen such a cool-looking veal-like character in my life. He’s got sunglasses askew and hat akimbo. That screams modern and cool to THIS guy. Actually, he may be the little brother of this well-known pitcher-fella:

Capture1

  • My big concern with this product is the very small wording under ‘Veal Patties’. In small, tender letters it proudly proclaims – ‘BEEF ADDED’. I didn’t understand this at all, so I mistakenly googled what the difference was between beef and veal. Without going into the least bit of detail because frankly I’m still trying to choke down my blueberry crunch yogurt, let’s just say that if you add beef to veal, well you basically just have a teenage cow. Enough said.

My mother would fry these suckers up, toast a couple of slices of bread, butter them up, slap the patty on them and call it dinner. I never knew anything different so I put them right on the same taste shelf as the Soybean Burgers that my school always served us. A taste explosion of the weird.

I guess that’s all I have to say about Frozen Veal Patties (Breaded). I hope you appreciate the memories and if you get a chance, don’t ever pick them up.

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Comments
  1. Growing up in the Midwest, I can so relate. I had NO idea, NO idea the rest of the world used spices beyond salt and pepper, that not every food item had to be served with potatoes and/or cheese, and that casseroles were not a staple. the “teenage cow” comment really grossed me out by the way 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. writerinsoul says:

    Love this post! Laughed all the way through. “Lil Redi” (i see his name on his cap) looks suspiciously like Mr Potato Head too. See how pleased he is to be eaten! Look at fun-loving me, he seems to be saying, I look nothing like a small, gentle-eyed calf! I wonder what else it’s a “good” source of?

    Like

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