The One Where The Art Critic Comes Back

Posted: September 21, 2016 in Tim Braun
Tags: , , , ,


Disclaimer: I know nothing about art and I prefer it that way. I see a picture and know if I like it or not. I’m not worried about the bouquet of art as it swirls around inside your mouth and if it’s fruity, full-bodied or narrow-minded. I just look at it and think if it’s something that I want to see hanging in my bedroom or not.

All that being understood by you, the reader, brings me to the purpose of this brain dump. We have a whole wing of our office building dedicated to training. This is a high-energy, very intense location where people from all over the country come to delve into the minuscule details that make this company strong, profitable and very important to our nation’s well-being.

As you can plainly understand, the decoration needed for this type of crucial environment is vital to foster this learning process. There have been hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars spent on ensuring that the creative environment is conducive to higher standards and professionalism. I’m sure a group of people were selected to gather in a room to determine the very finest artwork that could be displayed and could lead us all to success in our training.


Then please explain this 35 square foot atrocity:


Please be advised that I’m NOT commenting in any way, shape or form on the actual looks of the girl. If she looks like that in real life – yes, I would be surprised – but not all of us (present company included) can look like Shakira. But why in all that’s good in this green world would our “Artwork Team” mentioned above think that THIS was the picture that should be broadly displayed to enhance our brain waves.pic2

What does it all mean? Why is she praying? Why is she crying? Why is she happy? WHY IS HER FACE REALLY STRANGE?

I have nothing else to say on this…. except that it’s just one of those pictures that really freaks me out and causes nothing but issues in my synaptic nerve endings. It looks like Ruppel (the person who has happily signed his/her name) just spent all the time on the background and when he/she finally got to the point of painting the face, simply turned the work pic3over to his/her 5-year child and had them give it a shot. Ruppel then went over the top of it and tried to fix it. If you look at it with that understanding – it makes perfect sense.

Anyway – I want to applaud our “Artwork Team” for this brilliant choice of learning nectar. It is much appreciated and I look forward to the picture of the dogs playing poker in the next room.

  1. hapidays88 says:

    Obviously it is through the power of prayer that this young, sad, and dimly lit girl comes out a vibrant champion

    Liked by 1 person

  2. writerinsoul says:

    35 square feet! Oh my. Scary.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can so relate to the following phrase…”…causes nothing but issues in my synaptic nerve endings”… I can see using this phrase in a number of places in my professional environment

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think the main problem is an oversight by the Artwork Team. Clearly they forgot the collage elements when they picked up this thought-provoking work. But that’s okay – you can fix it, and all your colleagues will be so grateful to you!

    See, each girl is supposed to have a thought bubble issuing from her head. These thought bubbles encapsulate concepts and ideas that are core and pivotal to any corporate training program.

    The first girl is thinking: “Right, if I prop my head up at this angle, I look as though I’m seriously considering what’s just been said, and no one will see that my eyes are closed.” You could actually put a notebook and pen on her lap to enhance the authenticity of her message.

    The second girl is praying: “Oh dear Lord, let this be over before all my paradigms shift entirely!”

    And the third girl is rejoicing: “Halleluja! Someone brought donuts!”

    Liked by 2 people

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