The Thankfulliest Thanksgiving Message EVER

Posted: November 23, 2016 in Tim Braun
Tags: , , , , , ,

There are two factors contributing to this blog today.

  • I’m really, really tired – like falling off the chair because my legs won’t hold me up tired. This means, of course, that I put minimal effort into the writing and rely on the very thing I’m reporting on to hold up the caboose line of the guffaw train.
  • With the election having just occurred, the atmosphere in this country is basically a murky gray tinged with a few darker clouds scurrying their way to and fro across the sky.thanks2

With those two dark and heavy mushroom clouds of life hanging low in the southern sky, I have stumbled across (actually, had it thrown at me to see if it would stick) a remarkable piece of email. I know that I wrote last time about the most annoying email ever, but who would think that it would be immediately followed up by THE MOST AMAZING PIECE OF MARSHMALLOW FLUFFERY EMAIL EVER! That’s right – this week I received from one of the many organizations that I support the kind of email that makes you stop, read it twice, and wonder “What they hell were they drinking?”

Let’s break it down into a few sections. Basically, this email was a thank you for all the hard work during the year. One would think one could just say “Thank you so much for all the hard work that you did this year”. One would be wrong.

To wit:

During this season of thanks it’s a perfect time to share my gratitude for YOU! 

This time of year is so special. The weather changes along with the outdoor scenery. We remember family and friends and long to be in their presence. 

You always come to mind when I think of people who care and treat others like family. Members are widely known to be those who extend the hand of friendship to colleagues, include others just because, and are glad to welcome anyone into their group. That’s you!

thanks3Wow. THANK YOU! I really come to your mind when you think of that? That’s all good and nice, BUT….it goes on.

I need you now – more than ever. Of course, this season brings its own challenges and when we add in the uncertain times in which we live, it’s a recipe that few of us want to eat. Instead, will you help me to make our own feast of kindness and love?

I call upon every member to grab a big bowl and add these ingredients to your day:

  • Heaping helping of inclusion and an overflowing cup of acceptance
  • Fizzy bottle of choosing to believe the best of others’ intentions
  • Friendly dollop of hearty handshakes and hellos, especially to those you don’t know yet

Um. OK….first of all we have definitely taken the kitchen metaphor WAAAAAAY too far. But give credit where credit is due, any emailthanks1 that contains the word ‘dollop’ – which this author has opined about in the past – goes a few points up in my book.

But the final straw in this positivity puzzle is the oddest, most thought-provoking statement I’ve ever read in an email:

When we stir all of these emotions together and turn up the warmth, I just know we’ll create a sweet smelling essence that draws colleagues to us. We all will know we are a safe place where they can come and find acceptance, even when we don’t agree.

This author has never, ever, I mean NEVER, wanted to sample the sweet smelling essence of my colleagues – EVER. I’ve been around some of these members before and I can guarantee you that it wasn’t always a sweet essence emanating from their ‘stirred pot of emotions’.

All that being said, I applaud this sender for such a positive, enlightened message. However, they may want to just tone it down a TAD to allow for the ‘fizzy bottle of choosing’ to breathe.

Thanks you so much for taking the time to read this and all the work you put in this year.

There – was that so hard?

Happy Thanksgiving!


  1. My concern arises from one thing- I can’t tell if this e-mail was serious or something that you made up. Then, I remembered how tired you are and that you would not have energy to make up something this…this… what is the word I am looking for?….effusively bizarre.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. writerinsoul says:

    “.. it’s a recipe that few of us want to eat” – NONE of us want to eat recipes unless we are a goat. Recipes are pieces of paper, no?

    I was sure this was leading up to a request for money “for those less fortunate.”

    Liked by 1 person

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