No Talking! THIS MEANS YOU!

Posted: June 22, 2017 in Tim Braun
Tags: , , , , , ,

That’s right, we have a shusher. Not just your ordinary annoying shusher, but a full-blow, bat-crap crazy shusher the likes of which the Kings of Shushingdom never anticipated. She has arisen from the ashes of the fallen kingdom to take over the mantle of leading a new generation of shushers that will eventually take over the office.

She sits innocently enough at the hallway end of a row of 6 cubicles on Cubicle Row 5 . To all appearances she appears completely normal – toiling away for the man like the rest of us. I have no idea of what she does, who she talks to, her life story, or anything. All I know is that she’s the undisputed queen of Shushingdom. Let me illustrate by relaying a couple of actual examples.

Let’s just say for giggles that you’re walking down the hallway talking about the latest contract venture that you’re working on. You’re talking with your friend and having a very casual conversation with words being thrown about like ‘incentivize’ and ‘paradigm. You’re walking by the end of Cubicle Row 5 when all of the sudden out of thin air you hear a loud:

“SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….”

You keep walking not quite realizing what has occurred. It only comes to you several minutes later that you have been attacked by the Queen.

Another example – you’re on the other side of Cubicle Row 3 (mind you – two full rows over) having a great time with your other team members. Is there laughing? Yes. Is there loud talk? Perhaps. Did it last longer than 13 seconds? No. All of the sudden, out of the thin, rarified air comes a loud:

“SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….”

You have to realize that this lady is a completely non-partisan shusher. No matter your position, your sex, your color, or your religion – if you speak near her you’re getting shushed. I can just imagine that her computer screen looks somewhat like this from all the spittle flying around willy-nilly.

Actually, my whole office is obsessed (i.e. bat-crap crazy) with being quiet. On the wall that you face when you get off the elevators is this laminated sign:

You know it’s darn serious when someone takes the time to laminate something, eh? Lamination = Truth. That’s my motto.

Nee yet another example of craziness?

I was walking down the stairs the other day and came across this “sign” – or random piece of paper taped to the wall. Obviously no expense was spared with the preparation of this sign. If this doesn’t scream ‘Communists under control here….’ then I don’t know what does.

Interestingly enough, the request, nee demand, for quiet is well-founded because when you go through the door this is what you embraces your eyesight:

OK…maybe nothing here, but I’m sure when you go around the corner you’re going to walk into a control room for a nuclear missile launch facility:

OK.

Good thing I was quiet.

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Comments
  1. writerinsoul says:

    Go left. Stumble about. Raise hell.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. David says:

    Back in my apt days had someone on the floor below who would continually bang on things when I made noise. Was totally convinced it was me until one night I had a guest and we were just sitting in chairs and talking, in a conversational tone, nothing loud, and they started banging on their ceiling (my floor). I gave up trying to be nice at that point!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s why god invented headphones. Maybe you should take up a collection for her. Thanks for another reason I don’t miss working.

    Like

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