Repelling the Rappel – Mindfully Of Course

Posted: August 24, 2017 in Tim Braun
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m really not one to make fun of people for typos and grammatical errors – at least not to their face – but as I trudged into the elevator this morning at work I came across this highly entertaining notice:

Now I could pick apart each and every sentence of this ridiculously helpful message…. (here is where I would type “but I’m better than that…” if I were better than that – but I’m not.)

  1. “weather permitting…” Can you not pressure wash in the rain? Isn’t pressure washing, well, water? Wouldn’t that just HELP the situation? Wet things down a little first?
  2. “wash the sides…” What’s wrong with the front and back of the buildings? Don’t they deserve a little TLC as well?
  3. “mindful of any security concerns…” The only security concern that I would note is that if one of the pressure washers went crazy and blew a hole in the window next to my cube – or maybe it’s a Communist plot for someone to be HIRED as a pressure washer, lower themselves down on a rope, mindfully pressure washing as they go…only to stop at my window so that they could peer into my computer screen and see the latest ESPN and/or eBay updates.
  4. “the vendor will be repelling…” Well, isn’t THAT just the rudest thing to say about a vendor in the history of client-vendor relationships? Why would we hire someone that we wanted to have no part of whatsoever? Aren’t there any pressure washing vendors out there that we liked?
  5. “sides of the buildings…” See #2 above. Why the pejorative nature of pressure washing?
  6. “Any actions near sidewalks and entrances will have warning cones and signs.” Huh? So if I skip down the sidewalk (as I’m want to do) I have to take a cone with me and put it down as I go? That seems like a whole lot of trouble.
  7. “Please be mindful of any work occurring overhead.” Um. OK….so how am I supposed to place the cone while I’m skipping if I’m constantly looking up at the airplanes going overhead? This seems just like a recipe for disaster.

Please check in here often as I intend to fully report on the vendor’s activities for the next month. If anything untoward occurs, or if there’s any hobnobbing going on, I will document and also be totally mindful of it.

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