Hyper-Blogging

Posted: October 26, 2017 in Tim Braun
Tags: , , , , ,

We’ve all heard it or read it. Someone going to a party that night and saying that they are “super excited” to be attending that soiree. Someone buying a new car and being “super stoked” to have gotten such a great deal. Someone reading this blog and feeling “super disappointed” in the content.

However, yesterday this was ramped up to an 8.7. Or was it? You be the judge. The person in question was given an assignment to complete a task by the end of last week. I complained to them in a calm and professional tone that it should have been completed already – and calmly and professionally asked when I would see their half-assed, crappy, have-to-be-rewritten-anyway work.

Their response?

“I’m hyper-focused and will get it done by the end of this week…”

?

Is hyper-something better than super-something? Is there some type of guidebook that I could have access to that will rank the words in the proper order so that I know the level of emotion that they are portraying? How do you ‘hyper-focus’ anyway?

The definition of focus is “pay particular attention to”. The definition of hyper is “a prefix appearing in loanwords from Greek, where it meant “over,” usually implying excess or exaggeration.” So this slacker is not only going to pay attention to it, he is going to exaggerate that attention to the point where he is actually moving backwards through the time/space continuum. At least that’s how I read it.

The same can be said for the aforementioned use of “super-anything”. There’s no point in increasing your verbal word count by throwing a needless word in there. Lord knows there’s enough spoken vomit going around in today’s world that the last thing we need is that type of hyper-communication.

See what I did there? I verbally upchucked on you.

Since someone needs to step up and help the world out, I’ll take it upon myself to do so. So here’s my ranking of importance of these misused words:

  1. Hyper-
  2. Stupid-
  3. Super-
  4. Ulti-
  5. Maxi-

You are now free to stupid-annoy all the people around you using this chart of ulti-descriptive words to get your point utli-across.

Advertisements