Posts Tagged ‘pain’

A little hitch in your get-along.

TRUE MEANING: You either have a BIG hitch in your get-along, or just a big get-along in general…bigger than most get-alongs. There’s no debating that fact.

Why can’t people just tell you the truth? What is it about saying that you’re in for “A little….” of anything that makes them think they can drop any bombshell and have it be acceptable to the receiving party? Are they trying to comfort us? I KNOW I have a big hitch in my get-along…. there’s no reason to hide it, much less call it out by stating that it’s little.

Interesting side fact, as soon as I wrote that last paragraph I got up to answer the phone and guess what? I had a little hitch in my get-along. Self-fulfilling prophecy?

Now, for your reading enjoyment, are my top four (4) uses of “A little….” to downgrade a creditable threat. It will come as no great surprise that three (3) of the four (4) are commonly uttered at the holy palace of mental and physical pain – the dentist.

  • “You have a little tartar there….”

Obviously you realize immediately that this will entail a deep scraping of every single tooth, up and down, left and right, inside and out, for at least three (3) hours while simultaneously gouging their big fat thumb inside your cheek and their big fat tartar scraper into your gums.

  • “You’ll feel a little pinch….”

Said commonly by dentists about to deliver a three (3) foot hypodermic needle directly into your ulterior limpicle nerve. The reasoning by them is that you’ll be so concentrated on the ‘little’ part that you’ll forget about the three (3) foot part.

  • “This may be a little sensitive for a while….”

True meaning – if you eat anything that is NOT exactly 63.6 degrees Fahrenheit in the next six (6) months you’ll feel a searing pain immediately throughout your jawbone – followed closely and affectionately by an accompanying headache that will be impervious to any Tylenol, Excedrin or Motrin ever created.

  • “Looks like we’ll be experiencing a little turbulence…”

This is the only one of my top four (4) that isn’t heard normally at the dentist, although frankly I wouldn’t put it past Dr. Frankenstein, DDS to throw that one out there as the drill lowers into the root of my canal. However, I’m specifically referring in this case to that moment when you’ve been relaxing on your flight and suddenly the seat belt light springs to life. The slow-talking, mellow-voiced pilot comes over the intercom and caresses his passengers with his demeanor and lying words. Hold on, buckle up, and be prepared for random food particles to be flying around the cabin very soon.

One (1) last thing – there is “a little” modifier that you need to be aware of. When you hear it, you KNOW you’re pretty much doomed. That modifier is:

BIT

This modifier is used by the above mentioned professionals and is a code word to their stewardesses and dental assistants that whatever they said is the exact OPPOSITE of what’s going to happen – times a million.

Please understand that I’m not here to reveal trade secrets, but the acronym ‘B.I.T.’ clearly stands for “Butt In Throat” and has been word-icized for us common people. So if your dentist comes at you with “You’ll feel a little pinch here…” that’s one thing, but if he/she rolls at you with:

“You’re going to feel a little bit of a pinch here…”

You can basically just start screaming immediately. Think of it as – “You’re going to feel a little butt in throat of a pinch here…” and you’ll get an idea of the severity of the issue.

You’re welcome. I’ve now broken the professional code of ethics by telling you this, but keep it to yourself and use the information wisely.

I have to now go and do a little bit of drinking. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.