The other day I was patiently minding my own business at the local gas station, hoping for some quiet time while filling up my behemoth with upwards of 80 gallons of gas. It’s a time I’ve come to treasure: watching other people try to figure out how to open their gas cap lid, watching the 85-year old man try to wiggle his Cadillac Seville into a narrow strip of real estate, and just generally watching people try to do things that they don’t normally do.

When what to my wondering ears did occur? A loud, blaring commercial:

“Welcome to GSTV – Gas Station TV! Giving you all the information and entertainment while you are pumping!”

Long story short – my gas station now has mini-TVs located on each pump all running on a continuous loop of “information” and “entertainment”. This “information” and “entertainment” consisted of approximately 50% ads, 25% ads for the aforementioned GSTV, and 25% content. I don’t know in what world that qualifies for anything but “torture”. In my 5 minutes of watching for content, I was pinged by the weather 3 times, the death of some minor celebrity twice, and a wonderful segment called “Word of the Day” where a static screen unveiled to me that I should be using the word ‘rhapsodic’ in at least 25% of the conversations I take part in.

Do we really need to be subjected to that drivel at a gas pump? Can we not have 5 minutes of peace and quiet watching Isabella drop all of her melons while trying to fiddle with the quick release latch of her gas cap?

I looked up GSTV on the internet and was surprised to find that they take themselves very seriously. And frankly, it’s a brilliant marketing ploy. They have a presence on Twitter, Facebook, other social icons I didn’t recognize, and have a new office in New York City. However, on their website they also market themselves as:

Connect with 100% drivers that are young, affluent and actively spending 32% more on days they buy gas

I’m sure that’s brilliant marketing speak somehow and some way. For the life of me I can’t figure out the point of the statement. Of COURSE they’re spending 32% more on days they buy gas – considering I had just put $350 into my aforementioned behemoth.

That’s it. Nothing fancy today. Just a mini-rant on what this world has become. As I smashed the screen in with a rock as I left, I waved goodbye to the GSTV monopoly – never to return to that gas station.

But I wax rhapsodic. Rhapsodically.